


Sacrifices

by ArgentSleeper



Series: Episode AUs [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e09 Lady of the Lake, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 04:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1128579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgentSleeper/pseuds/ArgentSleeper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Contrary to popular belief, Arthur wasn't completely oblivious. But after a night of following Merlin to discover what secrets the boy was hiding, he wished he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Arthur was confused.  
  
It had started that morning, from the very moment he woke up.  Arthur liked to start his day with the same routine.  With everything else he had to deal with in the day, knowing one thing would always be the same was comforting.  But what had to happen? His one thing he thought he could count on was off.  
  
And it was all Merlin's fault.  
  
At first Arthur had wondered if it was his fault. Merlin had been practically running from the room, barely stopping to make sure Arthur was actually awake before making a break for the door.  Not to mention that pathetic excuse for a breakfast he'd brought.  Had he done something to offend him?  Honestly, Merlin could be such a girl sometimes.  But then, he usually let Arthur know -quite vocally, in fact- when that happened.  
  
Then there was the incident with the bathwater.  Part of Arthur wondered if he had perhaps overreacted a bit, but if he had, it was only slightly, surely.  Honestly, he'd known Merlin was incompetent, but how on earth he'd managed to get the water so _scalding_...  He would have thought such a thing beyond even Merlin's skills.  
  
But it had all come to a head that afternoon.  His already frayed temper had become even more grated upon by a disastrous midday meal -he wasn't actually going insane, was he?- but then he just had to volunteer to take a message from his father to the soldiers in the dungeons.  There Arthur had found the last thing he expected; that loathsome bounty hunter Halig had actually _dared_ to abduct _his_ servant so he could interrogateand _assault_ him.  No matter how many goblets he himself threw at Merlin's head, Arthur would never allow someone to do such a thing to him.  
  
Halig claimed Merlin was acting suspiciously.  Well, Arthur _knew_ Merlin was acting suspiciously.  He just had better methods of finding out why.  
  
In the end, if he had to pick only one reason he was doing this, it was the food.  Merlin had admitted to stealing his midday, claiming it was to keep him in shape -which was ridiculous because Arthur was _not_ fat- and he now had a sneaking suspicion that Merlin had actually taken his breakfast, too.  But why?  Yes, Merlin was a scrawny fellow, but Arthur didn't think it was from a lack of Gaius feeding him.  Even if there were another food shortage, which currently there wasn't, Arthur had a feeling Gaius would give up his own meal to ensure Merlin had one.  
  
So it wasn't that his servant lacked his own food.  But then what was the reason?  
  
The question that was Merlin had led him out here, in the middle of the night.  Arthur felt like an idiot, sneaking about his own city following his servant around.  What he _should_ be doing was sitting him down and just demanding to know what was going on.  But he knew that was a waste of time.  Merlin just didn't seem to get the whole "you have to obey me because I'm the prince" thing.  He would probably just lie, and they'd both know he was lying, but Arthur would have to let him go because Merlin was simply too stubborn to give in when he ought to.  
  
Merlin was definitely going somewhere he didn't want anyone else to know about.  He kept looking over his shoulder nervously, forcing Arthur to duck and hide.  When he reached the catacombs, Arthur watched as he grabbed and lit a torch, descending into the dark.  The prince followed after, tiptoeing as quietly as he could, not daring grab a torch of his own and give himself away.  
  
He heard voices, and ducked behind a wall, feeling even more ridiculous than ever.  Who was Merlin talking to, and why on earth would he meet them down here?  Arthur inched forward until he could make out voices.  
  
"How did he find you?"  
  
"You can't always trust people."  
  
A girl?  Merlin was meeting a girl?  Arthur almost started laughing at how senseless this whole thing was.  Only Merlin would find a need to be so secretive about simply meeting a girl.  He was going to have the time of his life teasing his servant for this.  
  
"I know. That's why I left home."  
  
Wait, what? That wasn't what he'd told Arthur. He'd said he didn't fit in anymore.  Arthur had met the people of his village.  Who did Merlin think he could not trust there, enough to drive him from the only home he'd ever known?  Will perhaps, his friend who turned out was actually a sorcerer?  They'd seemed close, despite the boy’s true colours, but Arthur couldn't remember anyone else there who seemed shifty or who looked upon Merlin with disdain.  
  
They kept talking about their homes.  From the sound of it, Arthur guessed this tryst was recent.  They seemed to be just getting to know each other.  That made him feel a bit better.  He hadn't been entirely clueless.  
  
"You're not on your own anymore. I'm going to look after you. I promise."  
  
"You can't look after me. No one can."  
  
That was odd. She was right, of course; Merlin couldn't look after her. He could barely look after himself.  From the sound of it Arthur gathered her immediate family was dead, but there had to be someone looking after her, an aunt or someone that she was staying with in the lower town (probably one who didn't approve of Merlin for them to feel they needed to go to such lengths to hide themselves -another thing Arthur could use as teasing material). What else would she be doing in Camelot?  
  
"No, I don't think you understand. I've never known anyone like you…” A pause.  Arthur did _not_ want to think about what was happening during that pause.  He was definitely starting to regret following Merlin down here.  “I wish I could stay."  
  
"You're going?"  
  
"We need to be careful. I'll come back in the morning… You know I will be back, don't you?"  
  
That sounded like a signal that they were about to leave if ever he’d heard one.  Arthur scrambled back further into the darkness.  He certainly planned on confronting Merlin about this whole thing eventually, but now didn't seem the time.  He really had only ever wanted to embarrass his servant, not this poor girl,  however misguided he thought she must be see anything in _Merlin_.  
  
Luckily Merlin walked right past without noticing him, carrying the torch, completely alone.   _Wait, what about the girl_?  Unfortunately the thought distracted him long enough that Arthur didn't quite follow fast enough, and he was left in darkness.  
  
Carefully he edged his way along the wall.  He thought he might remember the way back.  Something on the ground tripped him up, and forgetting himself, he swore aloud.  
  
A gasp. "Who's there? Merlin?  Is that you?"  
  
Arthur startled a bit himself at her panicked whisper.   _Seriously, Merlin?  You left her down here?  All on her own?  Do I seriously have to clean up all your messes, even the ones I’m not supposed to know about?  
_  
"It's alright. I'm not going to hurt you," he called softly back.  
  
"Who are you?" she repeated.  It was clear she was terrified, and Arthur felt terrible for sneaking down here now.  
  
"I'm a friend," he assured her.  "Of Merlin's," he added while at the same time thinking _Just please don't ever tell him I said so_.  
  
Seeing a candle flicker in the distance, he made his way towards it.  As his shadow came into view, she scrambled away.  "It's okay.  I promise; I won't harm you."  
  
When Arthur got his first good look at her he had to employ every lesson in controlling the expression of his feelings that he'd ever gotten.  The girl was covered in dirt and wearing what may have at one point been a dress but now was simply a mess of scraps.  She looked absolutely petrified the more he gazed at her, so he dropped his eyes, looking around instead at the gathering of candles, a handkerchief that still held one of those rogue sausages, and Merlin's usual brown jacket, which seeing his gaze upon her she pulled up onto her shoulders and wrapped tightly around the front of her body like a shield.  
  
What on earth had happened to her?  It was no wonder now that Merlin was hiding her down here, bringing her his stolen food.  Arthur understood why Merlin would make a promise to take care of her.  However, this wasn’t the best way to do it.  If only he’d told the prince, Arthur could have done something more for her.  He had much more power than a simple servant.  He _would_ do it now, now that he knew.  
  
"Who did this to you?  We can ensure they won't do it again."  She shook her head vehemently. "You don't have to be afraid.  All I need is a name."  
  
"What did Merlin tell you about me?" She sounded a bit hurt.  Arthur thought he understood; she had said something about being “found” because people couldn’t be trusted.  Now she thought Merlin, too, had betrayed her trust.  
  
"Nothing, actually," he admitted with a guilty shrug.  "I sort of... well, I followed him here."

 

“I think you should go.  I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

 

“But you don’t mind getting Merlin in trouble.”  Arthur bit his tongue, regretting the words the moment he said them.  “I apologize, that wasn’t–”

 

“I tried to tell him it wasn’t safe.  He wouldn’t listen.”

 

_“You can’t look after me.  No one can.”_

“Here, you can take one of the candles to find your way out.”

 

As she reached the candle out to him, that was when he saw it.  Arthur almost missed it in the dim light, but one glimpse was all he needed.  Before she could pull away, he whipped out a hand and grabbed her by the elbow.  The girl gave a frightened squeak and tried to pull away, but he held fast.  Yes, it was definitely there: a druid symbol.

 

“You’re the girl,” he realized, his voice suddenly cold.  “The druid girl who escaped from the bounty hunter.”

 

“Please,” she whispered.  “Please, don’t tell on Merlin.  He was just trying to help.”

 

 _That_ was why they had met down here, hidden away in the dark.  Why Merlin had been acting so suspiciously.  Why he had stolen food for her and lied about it to Arthur.  He wasn’t hiding her from some abusive relative or betrothal.  He was aiding and abetting a fugitive.

 

Arthur couldn’t even blame him.  If that young man saw a rabid bear in such a sorry condition, he would stop to help without a thought for himself, let alone a girl who looked as helpless as this.  That was just _Merlin._   And he probably didn’t know about the curse.

 

But Arthur couldn’t let it go on, not when he _did_ know.

 

“I have to turn you in.  I’m sorry.”  And he was, really.  It wasn’t because she was a druid.  Why, just over a year ago he’d helped another druid escape from Camelot.  But that boy hadn’t been a danger, and according to Halig, she was.

 

Yet something was holding him back.  Maybe it was that she didn’t struggle to get away when he said he was going to turn her in, instead simply nodded meekly, accepting her fate.  Or that she hadn’t yet made a single plea for herself, instead only asked for the safety of someone else.  Or, more likely, it was the thought of the look on a particular manservant’s face when he found out what Arthur had done.  Arthur groaned internally.  He couldn’t believe he was going to do this.

 

“If I let you go, do you promise not to do anything to harm the people here?”

 

She nodded quickly, confusion and disbelief evident in her face amidst the fear.

 

“I’ll be back tomorrow.  Will you stay here until I do?”  He could put off the decision until then.  That would give him time to speak to Merlin, to explain to him why it had to be done.

 

If he realized it also gave her time to escape, he conveniently ignored the thought.

 

After another moment’s trepidation, Arthur released her arm.  He didn’t take the candle.  She had so little light already; he couldn’t bring himself to leave her further in the dark.  Instead he gave her a small nod and stood, feeling his way along the wall as he had been before.

 

Before Arthur was too far away, however, a small whisper floated out to meet him, barely audible even in the stark quiet.

 

“Thank you.”


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur meant to speak to Merlin.  Really, he did.  But once again, the young man was in and out of his room so quickly the next morning that he barely caught a glimpse of him.  Then Arthur was called out by his father to investigate a pair of mysterious deaths in the lower town.  Then who should he see skulking about but that darn bounty hunter.

 

Seeing the direction the bounty hunter was heading in, Arthur made rapid excuses to his father, claiming he had promised to pick something up for Morgana in the marketplace.  Uther nodded absentmindedly, giving a small smile at the mention of his beloved ward.  Quickly Arthur slipped up behind Halig and his cohorts, making sure to keep well out of sight.

 

“He went this way.  If we follow him, we find the girl.”

 

Arthur swore.  _Merlin, you idiot!  You had to go and let yourself be seen!_   As Halig disappeared into the catacombs, Arthur abandoned his subtlety and ran after him.  _Why do I let myself get roped into these things?_   He had already decided he was going to turn the druid girl in.  He could just let Halig go down and find her.

 

If she was even still there.  There was every chance that she could have escaped in the night after he’d left her.

 

But even if she had indeed gone, Merlin was still down there.  Something in Arthur knew he couldn’t let his servant get arrested for doing what he thought was the right thing, no matter how misguided his actions were.

 

Rushing down the catacomb stairs, he called out, “Halig!”

 

There was movement ahead of him, and several long heartbeats went by before torchlight appeared around the corner.  “Sire?”

 

“What do you think you’re doing down here?” 

 

“We’re searching for the druid girl, sire.”  Halig’s tone held a note of irritation, like he wanted to snap, “ _What do you think we’re doing, you idiot?_ ”

 

Arthur thought quickly, though when he took a moment to dwell on it later, he would have said he wasn’t really thinking at all.  “I’ve just received word she may be hiding near the gates.  The guards there reported they saw a girl acting suspiciously.  They think she may be waiting for night to escape.  We need you to identify her.”

 

The bounty hunter grinned maliciously.  It wasn’t clear whether or not he believed the prince’s story, but it seemed he wasn’t entirely willing to casually dismiss it, either.  “Of course, sire.”

 

Halig and his men jogged back up the steps, brushing roughly past Arthur without a word.  As Arthur turned to follow after, not sure what he was going to say when no such suspicious girl was found by the gates, he held himself back for just a moment, just long enough to catch a snatch of panicked sniffles echoing through the dark.

* * *

Arthur didn't follow Merlin that night, though he did watch him skip across the courtyard.  He cursed the boy for not staying within his sights for more than a minute all day, and certainly not long enough for Arthur to explain why, even though he knew Merlin had the best intentions, the druid girl had to be turned in.  He wondered if Gaius knew what his ward was doing.  Arthur dismissed the possibility.  Gaius knew about the curse; he wouldn’t put Merlin in danger like that.

 

Instead Arthur waited until he spotted the servant making his way back to sneak out himself.  He didn't know why he was now avoiding Merlin when before he would have been glad just to have a chance to speak with him.  But then, nothing about anything Arthur had done recently made sense.

Even more than he was cursing Merlin he cursed that girl.  That stupid smile on Merlin’s face as he returned meant one thing: she was still there.  Why didn’t she just run?  Arthur had given her the chance!  He had told her what would happen and then he had let her go!  Did she think his mercy was boundless?  He couldn’t ignore her presence forever.  If she had just slipped away last night when she had the opportunity, he could have perhaps pretended he had never seen her there, that it had never happened.  Merlin would have moped a bit, and Halig and his father would have been furious, but everyone would have gotten over it eventually.

 

That couldn’t happen now.

  
Since he had no reason to conceal his presence this time, Arthur grabbed a torch of his own before descending the steps to the catacombs.  "It's just me," he called out softly, cautious of frightening her too badly, though he was unsure himself if he was worried for her sake or for his own.  
  
The girl sat huddled against the wall like last time.  She wore an odd look upon her face, like a mix between excitement and disappointment. She looked up as Arthur approached, but other than a wince, she gave no other negative reaction to his presence, neither bolting nor cowering and bursting into tears.  "Is it time to go?"  
  
For some inexplicable reason, Arthur hesitated.  He would regret that hesitation for the rest of his life.  For in that brief moment he looked down and spotted what the girl twirled absentmindedly between her fingers: a delicate red rose.  
  
She noticed immediately where his eyes had strayed.  A blush spread across her cheeks.  In a hushed voice she explained, "He offered to get me out of Camelot.  He said..." she ducked her head and the odd expression tripled.  "He said he would come with me."  
  
 _"I've never known anyone like you."_  
  
Arthur groaned internally.  _Why, Merlin?  Why did you have to do this to me?_  Arthur resisted the urge to rub his face in frustration.  What was he supposed to do now?  If he dared to turn the girl in, Merlin would never speak to him ever again.  But if he didn't, he would be putting people in danger.  Including Merlin.   _You just had to fall in love with her, didn't you?_  
  
Arthur steeled himself.  "I need to know.  What exactly is this curse the bounty hunter says you have?  Don't lie to me."  
  
Now her face had melted into pure sadness.  She didn't answer for a minute, staring instead at the rose in her hands.  Finally she answered, "I kill people.  I turn into a monster and kill them.  I can't help it.  I can't stop it."  She looked up at him, tears in her eyes.  "To answer the question you were really asking, yes, I am dangerous.    When I said before I promised not to hurt anyone… I can’t promise that.  I cannot guarantee I wouldn't hurt Merlin even.  It is likely I would."  
  
Arthur swore in his head, but even he had to admit it was more in disappointment than surprise or revulsion for her admission.  That had sealed it.  He couldn't let her go.  Not for Merlin, not for herself.  He had to take her in.  
  
Merlin was going to kill him, but he would rather that than this girl kill Merlin.  
  
She seemed to agree.  "If you let me go, I'll leave without Merlin.  I'll go tonight, and get as far away from here as possible.  I don't want to hurt him.  I’ve never wanted to harm anyone."  
  
Oh, but that would hurt even worse, and Arthur knew it.  If this girl vanished without so much as a goodbye when Merlin was apparently completely prepared to give up his entire life in Camelot to run away with her, he would take it as badly as if she actually killed him.  
  
No, she couldn't run, and Arthur couldn't let her go.  Which left only one option.  "I have to take you to the castle now.  I'm sorry."  He'd never meant the words as much as he did then.  
  
"I understand."  She stood with him meekly, gesturing for him to go ahead of her.  Arthur frowned.  If he wasn't mistaken, she didn’t appear nearly as upset about his decision as he had expected.  She almost seemed... relieved.  
  
Arthur didn't rush her as they emerged from the catacombs and made their way through the town.  Pausing, she took a deep breath as they exited the tunnels, closing her eyes for a moment.  He let her have it.  This would be the last time she got to be outside, after all, at least as a semi-free woman.  Finally he knew they had to move before the guards made their rounds and saw them.  They may not have known who she was, but they would be curious about her condition.  Then later they would wonder why Arthur had not had her restrained, allowing her to walk entirely on her own beside him.

 

He took her straight to the dungeons, fear filling him with every step that Merlin would suddenly come around a corner.  He would have to go to Gaius’s tonight and tell him.  Arthur knew if he didn’t, Merlin would simply repeat his new routine of popping in and out of his room to wake him in a flash, then heading straight for the catacombs.  When he didn’t find his new love there…  Yes, it would be better to hear it directly from Arthur, even if it did destroy both of them in the process.

 

At her request, he locked her in the cell furthest from where the guards were stationed.  Something told him she didn’t ask because it would make it easier for her to escape.  She could have left the night before, when Arthur gave her the opportunity –again he cursed her decision not to.  There had to be some other reason why she wanted to be out of sight, and since he was already bringing her to her death, Arthur decided her could at least grant her this boon.

 

She halted at the door of the cell as he held it open for her.  He could see she was shaking, and tears were making tracks down her dirt stained cheeks.  Her breathing had quickened a bit, and she seemed to be struggling to make herself move again.  Arthur reached out a hand to nudge her gently forward.  She still didn’t move.

 

“I’m sorry.  I can’t,” came the stuttered whisper.

 

Arthur groaned internally.  This had all been so much easier when she was practically imprisoning herself.   _Coward.  Forget the fact that she just looks like a terrified girl right now and remember that she’s a criminal.  A criminal who admitted you she kills people.  Who admitted she might kill Merlin._   He took her by the arm and pushed her lightly into the cell, closing the door and locking it behind her.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said again.  “I just… I never wanted to be back- back in a cage again.”

 

Arthur didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded jerkily and started to flee.

 

“Wait.”  Reluctantly Arthur turned back to where she still stood, reaching towards him through the bars.  In her hand she still held the rose, slightly wilted now from her worrying fingers.  “Please, give this to Merlin.  Tell him… I’m sorry.”

 

Arthur took the flower and hurried away.  He was afraid if he stayed any longer, he would be unable to stop himself from letting her go.  He ran to Gaius’s.  No sound could be heard from behind the door, but Arthur was sure Merlin was still awake.  He raised his hand to knock, readying an apology for the old physician for waking him so late.  Just as he was about to bring his knuckles down, however, someone stepped around the corner into view.

 

“Arthur!  Um, what are you doing here?”  Merlin stared at him, a mix of concern and confusion on his features.  He held something in his arms which he immediately whipped behind his back before Arthur could get a good look at it, a guilty blush creeping up into his cheeks.  “I thought you’d gone to bed for the night.”

 

Arthur opened and closed his mouth, words failing him.  How did he explain?  “Merlin, I…” he trailed off.  There just wasn’t a good way to do this.

 

But he didn’t have to struggle for long.  Merlin was backing away from him now, all previous emotions overtaken by shock and fear.  His eyes were on the rose clasped in Arthur’s hand.  “Please… tell me you didn’t…”

 

Arthur’s continued silence was all the confirmation Merlin needed.  He turned and sprinted away, the object he’d been hiding dropping from his hands and floating the ground.  Arthur picked it up.  It was one of Morgana’s dresses.  _He really was going to leave…_

 

The realization hit him hard.  It was one thing to be told as such by a cursed girl, one who might do or say anything to keep herself safe.  It was another to see the evidence for himself.  Merlin really had been completely willing to leave Camelot behind to escape with her.  He would have left Gaius, left Arthur, all without a word.

 

 _Would I do it?  If it was Guinevere?_   It was hardly a question worth asking.  Of course he would.

 

Arthur had a feeling he knew where Merlin had gone.  He was probably halfway to the catacombs by now, praying that what he was thinking was wrong.  He’d be back, and there were only two places he might go from there: to the dungeons or to Arthur.  Arthur began to walk back to the dungeons.  He’d have to head the boy off.  He couldn’t let him go down there, not when the guards would be able to see and report the odd visit by a person who shouldn’t know their prisoner in the first place, let alone know that she was down there.

 

Stopping Merlin when he returned, however, turned out to be a job and a half.  The gangly servant was much stronger than he looked.  Arthur put his arms in a deadlock behind his back, dragging him away.  Merlin shouted obscenities at him, but he didn’t let go, taking him all the way back to his chambers before releasing him.  Immediately Merlin aimed a punch at his head, but Arthur gripped his wrist, swinging his arm down and back in the same motion he’d used not so long ago when the boy was just as upset over the arrest of his guardian.

 

“Please, Arthur, you have to let her go!  She hasn’t done anything wrong!”

 

“Merlin–”

 

“She’s just a girl; she’s not going to hurt anyone!”

 

“Merlin–”

 

“Just let me take her out of the city!  No one has to know.  You did it for Mordred!  Remember, he was an innocent druid, too!”

 

“Merlin!”

 

Arthur gave the boy a firm shake to still his babbling.  “I can’t let her go free.  I had no choice; you know that.”

 

“ _Please, Arthur_ –”

 

“Merlin, the girl is cursed!  She told me herself that if I let her go, she couldn’t guarantee that people wouldn’t die because of it.  I cannot stand by and let people die for the sake of one girl.  No matter what she means to you.  I’m sorry, Merlin.”

 

It seemed those last three words, spoken so sincerely, were the magic ones it took to break him.  Merlin wrestled himself free, but as his body language no longer screamed that he was about to try to run out the door, Arthur felt safe letting him.  The boy slumped to the floor, burying his face in his hands.  Arthur stared awkwardly down at him.  He really didn’t know what to do in these kinds of situations.

 

“Can I see her at least?”

 

Arthur thought about that for a long minute.  On the one hand, after the events of the past few days, he had a feeling no matter what he said Merlin was going to try sneak down to the dungeons anyway so he might as well give in now so at least the visit would be sanctioned.  On the other, grossly disproportionate hand, the reason he had stopped Merlin before was still valid.  It was simply too suspicious for him to show up in the cells to visit a prisoner that not even the king knew yet was there.  It was honestly too suspicious for him to visit a prisoner that the king _did_ know about, especially when rumours that the girl had had help escaping abounded –rumours which Halig already believed pointed directly to Merlin.

 

But even so, Arthur still had to consider that first, annoying hand.

 

“If you promise not to do anything _stupid_ … I think we can manage something.” 

* * *

“-and _next time_ you decide you want to steal from my meals, maybe you might want to try eating them somewhere you won’t so easily be caught!  Of course, there had better not be a next time, you hear me, _Mer_ lin?  If there is, you’ll wish a night in the dungeons was the worst punishment I could find for you!”

 

Arthur shoved the young man, causing him to stumble and fall onto the straw-covered ground.  The girl in the next cell stared wide-eyed at the proceedings but remained silent, curled up in the corner.

 

“I’m sorry, sire; I was hungry!”  Merlin cried, not at all perturbed by his rough landing.  “Besides, it’s not like I could take the extra from Gaius.  He needs the food to keep up his strength.  You, on the other hand, well, it’d be a tragedy if you started to not fit into your armour properly–”

 

“ _Good_ _night, Merlin,_ ” Arthur hissed, shooting him a warning look.  Yes, they had put up an act for the guards in the barracks, but that was no excuse for Merlin to think he could get away with his usual insolence – _Of course it wouldn’t have become usual if he wasn’t able to get away with it in the first place_.  “I’ll send someone to let you out in the morning.”  Someone who would most certainly not be him.  Definitely not.  “Maybe.  Maybe I’ll just leave you here to rot.  You never know; I could get used to you not being around.”

 

That earned him a lopsided grin.  In a voice that was not meant to be overheard by anyone, he said, “Thank you, Arthur.”

 

Arthur locked the cell door and walked around the corner, pausing just out of sight.  _This_ was a habit he really ought to get himself out of.  It was not seemly for a future king to be skulking in the shadows eavesdropping on his manservant’s conversations.  He should start now, in fact.  This instant.

 

Arthur leaned a bit closer to the edge of the wall to hear better.

 

“Merlin, what are you doing here?”  The girl sounded deeply concerned as she shuffled across the straw.  _At least someone bought our little charade._

 

“I had to see you.  I’m so sorry, Freya.  It’s my fault you were caught.”

 

“No, don’t think that.  I had the opportunity to run after you freed me from that cage.  I should have run, but I didn’t.  I’m only sorry you got caught up in this, too.”

 

Arthur was sorry, too.  Merlin was making it very difficult to be mad at him about this whole thing when he acted so _devastated_.

 

“Merlin… that man.  Did you just call him ‘ _sire?_ ’  Was that the _prince?_ ”

 

 _Oops._   He honestly hadn’t realized until then that he hadn’t actually told the girl his name before now.  But then, he hadn’t asked for hers either.  It was easier to think of her as just another criminal when they didn’t go through such pleasantries.  And then, he was just so used to people simply _knowing_ who he was.  Freya.  It was a nice name.

 

Merlin sounded a bit embarrassed about it as well, and he didn’t even actually know what exactly Arthur had done yet.  “Yes.  I work here in the castle as Arthur’s servant.  He didn’t… he didn’t mean for this to happen.  He was only doing what he thought what right.”

 

“I know.”

 

“But I know you better than he does.  I know you would never hurt anyone.  Not on purpose.”  There was a short pause, and Arthur could have sworn he _heard_ the determined –read _obstinate_ –a face Merlin made when he was coming up with his most ridiculous plans.  “I told you before, Freya, I’m going to get you out of here.  This is just a minor setback, that’s all.”

 

“What?  Merlin, no–”

 

Definitely no.  Arthur was at the bounds of his leniency allowing _this_.  Now that the girl was caught by the crown as opposed to a measly bounty hunter the game was over.  Halig might have tried to beat the boy, but in the end he had no real proof to back his claim up.  Anyone even suspected of aiding a prisoner from these cells would be found guilty of treason, proof or no.  There was no way he was letting Merlin even think about trying to break her out from here.  Then there was that mangy curse to consider.

 

“I’m not leaving you here!  I promised I would look after you, and I’m keeping that promise.  We can leave tonight.  It’s not ideal, but it won’t be hard; I’ve snuck around here plenty of times.  Arthur said he wouldn’t tell his father he captured you until the morning, so no one will even be looking for you to be missing, and no one would be looking for me in the first place.”

 

 _That wasn’t why I was doing that, Merlin, and you know it_.  He’d promised to keep his mouth shut to give them some time together without someone coming down to drag her away for questioning or a late-night execution, or worse, Halig spotting Merlin’s coincidently timed imprisonment and obvious distress and drawing the connection between the two.  Arthur planned to make sure Merlin was far away from the dungeons and safely locked in his chambers –to protect Merlin from both Halig and himself– before he informed anyone who was down there.

 

And how could Merlin think no one would be looking for him?

 

“You _can’t_ , Merlin.”  She was starting to sound oddly desperate.  “You need to leave, now.  Call the prince back.  Tell him to let you out.  Just go, please.”

 

“But, Freya–”

 

“ _Go, Merlin._   _Now._ ”

 

The bells began to toll midnight.  It startled Arthur away from the scene for a moment.  He hadn’t even realized it was so late.  He supposed it didn’t matter.  If he’d been in his bed right now he wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway.

 

And he certainly wasn’t going to be going to sleep any time soon.

 

A sobbing whisper.  “I’m sorry, Merlin.”

 

Then the screams started.


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur ran around the corner to Freya on all fours on the ground, shaking.  Her screams had lost their high pitch and become low and rough.  Merlin leaned on the bars between their cells, trying desperately to stretch a hand through to her, shouting her name over and over to catch her attention, begging her to fight it.

_“I kill people.  I turn into a monster and kill them.  I can't help it.  I can't stop it.”_

 

“Merlin, get back.” He was surprised how calm the order came out.  Especially since the girl was starting to sprout _fur._

 

Merlin, of course, ignored him, continuing to try to squeeze himself through the bars, attempting to calm her even though he himself was anything but.  Luckily he was thin, but not that thin.

 

Unfortunately Freya seemed to be ignoring him as well he was Arthur.  The changes were happening faster now, her hands had transformed into paws, fur covering all visible skin.  Two of her front teeth dropped down, becoming sharp fangs.  Her body was beginning to grow in size, tearing her already ruined dress to shreds.  When the curse had fully taken hold, a strange black cat-beast with large bat-like wings growled at them from the cell.

 

“Merlin, _move._ ”  Arthur fumbled for his keys.  He didn’t think this creature would be able to break through steel, but if it could, the last thing he wanted was Merlin trapped in a cell with no way out.  Besides, there was nothing stopping it from slashing through the gaps in the bars, and the boy was too single-minded at the moment to think about continuing his pleading _after_ getting himself out of the line of fire.  Which meant Arthur was going to have to do the thinking for him.  Like usual.

 

Arthur ripped open the cell door and reached for Merlin to drag him back.  The creature protested such action, however, lunging violently at the bars between the two cells just as he had feared.  The fierce claws just scraped across Merlin as the two fell backward, landing hard on the ground.  Merlin yanked himself away from Arthur’s grip, cradling his bleeding arm.

 

Dodging the prince’s attempt to grab at him once more, he ran out of “his” cell.  With his good hand, he held something up and shoved it towards the lock of the creature’s door.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?”  Too late Arthur realized what was in his hand.  “Merlin, no, _don’t_!”

 

Merlin stepped inside the cell – _cage_ , really now– and closed the door.  The cat-beast turned to face him, but Merlin simply pocketed the keys then held out his empty hand palm down, as though approaching a stray dog, and crept closer.  Arthur shook off his stupor and scrambled to his feet, intending to pull the idiot back out again, but when he yanked on the steel, it stayed put.  Somehow the locking mechanism had closed again.  Merlin was trapped.

 

“Merlin,” Arthur fought to keep his voice soft and steady, eyeing the creature warily.  It had yet to make another aggressive move.  In fact, it seemed to have actually backed down, its harsh growls turning to almost something that could be called whimpers.  He wasn’t fooled for a second, though.  Many beasts played the weakling simply so they could catch you off guard and pounce when you were least expecting it.  “Merlin, very slowly reach back and hand me the keys, and I’ll let you out.  Don’t make any sound or sudden movements.”

 

“She’s not going to hurt me,” he insisted.

 

The steady red drip from his arm said otherwise, but he could see it was pointless to argue that fact.  “Merlin, you can’t help her right now.  Just come out and wait for her to change back.  She has to change back, right?  But until then there’s no telling what could happen.”  The events of the morning came back to him.  The couple in the lower town who had been ravaged by a beast but the only other evidence was a set of human footprints.  “Merlin, last time she killed two people.  There is no guarantee you won’t be next.  Get out of there.  _N–_.”

 

The cat-beast was advancing again, but this time it didn’t leap or attack in any way.  Instead it nudged its large, black head under Merlin’s hand trustingly.  Arthur could have sworn he heard it _purring_.  Then it backed away quickly into the corner, curling up under Merlin’s jacket.  As quickly as she had transformed into a beast, Freya shrunk, fur and fangs receding, until she was no more than a girl again, huddled sobbing on the ground.

 

Merlin ran to her, taking off the spare jacket he still wore and helping her cover herself with both.  “Arthur, I think you should go.”

 

The soft suggestion surprised him.  He’d been convinced Merlin had somehow managed to forget he was even there, despite the fact he’d been yelling at him this whole time.  Arthur had no intention of following what he said, of course.  There was no way he was leaving him alone and bleeding with someone who only moments before had been capable of tearing him to shreds.

 

“Go get her something to wear.  I’ll be fine.”

 

Arthur was still too in shock from the whole situation to even berate Merlin for daring to give _him_ an order.  He fled back through the dungeons, only pausing long enough to hear the girl choke through her tears, “I’m so sorry!  I tried to tell you to go.  This is all my fault.  I didn’t want to hurt you.  Why wouldn’t you listen?”

 

The first stop Arthur made was at the barracks to see where on earth the guards were that they hadn’t responded the ruckus.  He actually found them _asleep_ at the table.  His anger rose, but Arthur pushed it to the side to deal with at another time.  There were more important things to deal with right now.  Morgana’s stolen dress was still in his chambers were he’d left it after Merlin abandoned it.  Arthur fetched it and ran back.

 

On a list of ways this situation could have gone bad, this was near the top.  There was a druid fugitive in the city, and the person hiding her was his own servant.  She was cursed, and that curse was that she morphed into a giant murderous cat monster.  Merlin loved her, and the one person Arthur had absolute proof that she had attacked was Merlin.  Merlin was not supposed to cause him problems like this.  This wasn’t fair.

 

To any of them.

 

When Arthur returned and handed the dress through, then Merlin finally came out, reaching around to unlock the door.  Arthur wrenched the keys from his hands and did it himself, dragging him around the corner and out of view the instant the cell was open.  “What were you thinking?  Were you trying to get yourself killed, you idiot?  Let me see your arm.  We need to get you to Gaius. And don’t you dare tell me it’s nothing, Merlin!”

 

Merlin didn’t, but he didn’t let Arthur look at it either, clutching his scratched arm tighter to his chest.

 

"She didn't mean it," he insisted instead.

 

"No, what she _meant_ was to rip your head off.  Luckily you make it obvious even to that _thing_ that there's nothing in there to bother with!"

 

If Merlin even registered the insult he didn't show it. "Please let her go."

 

Arthur groaned.  "I told you, I can't.  Especially not now.  Not now that we know the curse is real and what it does.  She's a danger, Merlin.  I'm sorry, truly I am.  But I can't risk the well-being of my people." _Not even for you._

 

"Then I'll fix her! I'll get rid of the curse!  Just give me time.  Please."

 

"We don't _have_ time, Merlin."  The adrenaline from a moment ago had drained him, and now Arthur was simply exhausted.  "Even if there was a way to do it, the moment the sun rises I have to tell my father she's down here.  That's not even enough time for you to find a cure, let alone implement one."

 

"Then give me more than that!" He begged.  "Let her out; no one has to ever know she was here.  I'll hide her again, where no one will be able to find her this time."

 

"Merlin... no.  I can't risk..." Arthur trailed off.  _I can't risk her turning on the townspeople again.  I can't risk her turning on you._

 

"’Til midnight.  Just ‘til midnight.  It only happens then, she said.  Please, Arthur, she deserves a chance."

 

Arthur hesitated, the war between his head and heart growing fiercer with every argument Merlin raised and every counter-argument logic came up with to rebut.  Merlin couldn't know his greatest defence was what he wasn't saying.  Arthur had never seen him so desperate.  He clearly was upset about the girl being imprisoned, yet not one word had been spoken condemning Arthur for his actions.

 

He sighed. "The hour before midnight." Merlin beamed. "Not a second more, Merlin, I mean it.  If the girl isn't back in the cell by then, cured or not, I'm turning you in. And don't even think about letting her go.”

 

"Thank you, Arthur. Thank you."

 

Arthur was just glad he didn't add "You won't regret this."

 

Slowly he handed over the keys.  Merlin whipped them out of his hand and sprinted back to the cell.  Arthur didn’t wait to see what happened next.  He turned tail and ran.

 

This was a bad idea.  On a list of bad ideas he'd ever had, this had to be in the top five.  Top three, even.  It was beat only by not believing killing the unicorn had unleashed a curse on his land (number two) and attempting to kill his own father (number one by far).  At least those mistakes had had a happy ending. There was no way this could end well. For any of them. 

* * *

How Arthur slept that night he had no clue.  But he must have dozed off at some point because he found himself greeting the morning with no memory of seeing the sun rise.

 

Not that he could see the sun now either.  His heavy curtains were still closed, and no smell of breakfast tickled his senses. Merlin had not come yet this morning.  Arthur wasn't surprised.  The servant probably hadn't gone to sleep himself, determined to find a cure to the curse.

 

A knock startled him.  "Enter," he called gruffly, swinging quickly out of bed.

 

Morgana swept into the room, followed closely by Guinevere.  "Not out of bed yet, your highness?" There was no hint of respect in the title.  She looked at him appraisingly, taking in his rumpled clothes.  "I knew you were incapable of dressing yourself, Arthur, but really, you need help undressing too? No wonder poor Merlin has fallen ill when he's so busy taking care of you he has no time to take care of himself."

 

He chose to ignore the jab. "Is there a specific reason for this visit, Morgana?"

 

"Merlin sent word to the kitchens he was unable to attend you today due to illness, so Gwen picked up your breakfast.  I thought we might dine together." She sat at the table without waiting for an invitation. Gwen smiled apologetically, even as she laid out the food items anyway.

 

There was no protest he could give without seeming like a… okay, a prat.  Arthur cursed Merlin for putting him in this position.  An illness indeed.  They were going on a hunt when all this was over.  A long one.

 

Arthur tried not to think about the consequences of what "over" might bring.

 

He sat across from Morgana, picking at the meal.  Despite his recent small portions, he found he couldn't bring himself to do more than pick at it.  _Well, you got your wish, Merlin.  I'm going to stress myself thin._   Morgana chattered away about some banquet Uther was planning in a few days, Guinevere holding up Arthur’s side of the conversation as he had tuned out.  All the while she went around the room tidying up the mess that had accumulated during Merlin’s scatter-brained absence of the last few days, opening the curtains and making the bed.

 

"I do hope the checkpoint into the city is gone by the time the peace conference comes," Morgana was saying.  "Really, does Uther think the girl is just going to try to walk out the gates in broad daylight?"

 

"What girl?' Arthur asked sharply.

 

Morgana rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Arthur, I know my company isn't as droll as Merlin's, but you could at least _pretend_ to pay attention.  I'm talking about the druid girl.  You know, the one you've been searching all over creation for."

 

"You're not hiding her in your rooms again, are you?" It was probably her fault Merlin had decided to get himself into this mess in the first place.  Her stunt with young Mordred made him think all druids must be saved.  Arthur wouldn't put it past Merlin to have hidden the girl with Morgana for the day. Especially since Morgana would refuse to let her go when the time limit was up.

 

Another eye roll and a petulant huff.  "Please.  My chambers were the first place Uther told them to look.  I hate to even say it, but I would much rather have you searching there again any day than ever let that Halig man anywhere near again." She shuddered.  "He gives me the creeps."

 

Gwen nodded fervently in agreement.  "He truly is awful.  Forgive me for saying it, sire, but I feel bad for that poor girl, locked up around him.  Whatever she's done, it can't be so bad as to warrant such a punishment."

 

 _If only you knew_.  Yes, Merlin definitely hid her with these bleeding hearts.

 

He steadfastly ignored the prompting that perhaps he was becoming one too.

 

"Did you hear what he did to Merlin the other day?  Half the lower town saw Halig haul him to the castle for questioning.  If he weren't safe in Gaius's quarters for the day, I would tell you to keep a close eye out for him.  That bounty hunter means trouble, and he doesn't seem to care how he gets his information."

 

Arthur froze as he heard a squeak somewhere behind him.  Morgana and Guinevere turned curiously to see what had caused it.

 

“You don’t have mice, do you, Arthur?  Honestly, I heard about your apparent moth problem –although why Merlin had to _burn_ my favourite dress to stop them I’ve no idea –but don’t tell me there’s a mouse infestation as well.  I’m beginning to wonder why I agreed to come in your filthy room to begin with.”

 

“I do _not_ have an infestation, mouse or otherwise!” Arthur snapped absentmindedly.  _You didn’t.  Merlin, tell me you did not do what I think you did._   “It’s probably just someone on the servant’s stair.  Maybe my sorry excuse for a servant decided he was feeling better and ought to actually do some work for once.”

 

He stood abruptly and stalked over to the antechamber door.  After a quick glance to make sure neither Morgana nor Guinevere had followed him, he cracked the door open and peeked inside. Arthur moaned inwardly.  There, huddled in the corner, was the girl, peering up at him with eyes wide with terror, hands over her face as she stifled another sneeze.

 

Pitching his voice so the girls could hear clearly, he yelled in his best annoyed tone, "Merlin, get yourself back to bed, you idiot! If you get sicker because you pushed yourself too hard too soon, don't expect me to give you more time off!  No, don't give me that.  Do what you're told for once.  Be quiet and lay low."  He raised an eyebrow so the girl would know that last part was meant for her.  "Sorry," she mouthed.

 

Arthur slammed the door shut and turned back to Morgana and Guinevere.   "If you'll excuse me, my ladies, I have work I need to be doing.  Important paperwork to read.  And a speech that won't write itself now that Merlin is out of commission."

 

"Are you sure you can manage it?" Morgana smirked.  "Don't need me to fetch a servant to hold the quill for you?"

 

"Out." He bustled her towards the door.

 

"Gwen will bring you midday.  I take it I'm not invited back to join you?"

 

"You weren't invited in the first place," he grumbled, shutting the door on her laughter.

 

Arthur ripped open the antechamber.  "What are you doing here?"

 

"Hiding?" she squeaked softly.

 

"No. You can't hide here. If you're found here they'll know I helped you.  That will only make things worse."

 

She moved to sit on the small cot, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "Merlin said this way you'd know he wasn't setting me loose."

 

Arthur groaned inwardly and scrubbed his face with a hand. "Merlin is a noble idiot."

 

"Funny, he said the same about you." She ducked her head at his stunned look.  "Thank you for giving him this chance. Even though nothing will likely come of it. It will be easier for Merlin to find peace knowing he did everything he could."

 

She paused for a moment.  “I understand, you know… I mean, I don’t like it –when has anyone ever liked to be killed? –but I know you mean… I know you’re doing what you think is right.  And I’d rather be killed because of someone trying to save others than because someone just wants the money for turning my head in on a silver platter.”

 

Arthur didn’t know what to say to that.  Frankly any conversation with this girl left his head spinning and stomach lurching.  “Just… just remember to stay quiet.  No one should come up the servant’s staircase but Merlin, and no one should be in my chambers but me, but you should still probably hide if you hear anything.”

 

He closed the door and left the room.  There was no way he could spend any time in there today now.

 

Arthur skulked around the castle.  He really did have papers he was supposed to be reviewing, but they were back in his chambers.  All his knights were busy searching the lower town for the girl, so he couldn’t practice. _He_ was meant to be out there with them, but he was in no mood to pretend to look.  Somehow Arthur found himself outside Gaius’s quarters, his fist raised to knock.

 

Merlin was frantically ripping through what looked like the entire contents of Gaius’s library, and quite a few books from the castle library besides.  The dark circles around his eyes confirmed Arthur’s suspicion that he hadn’t slept after depositing the girl in the antechamber last night.  From the untouched plate on one table, he hadn’t eaten yet, either.  His sleeve looked a bit bulkier than normal, though, indicating he had at least tended to his wound.

 

Merlin slammed his current book shut and shoved it away, reaching for another.  The force with which he opened it tore a few of the pages.

 

“I know you’re mad at me, but try not to take it out on Geoffrey’s books, huh?  He doesn’t particularly like you as it is.”

 

Merlin didn’t even look up.  “It’s here, somewhere.  I know it is.”

 

Arthur sat on Gaius’s cot.  “Merlin,” he began gently.  “Her own people obviously couldn’t figure out how to save her, and they know far more about magic and curses than you do.  What are you expecting to find?”

 

“It’s not her fault.  She didn’t choose this.”

 

“I never said she did.”  Arthur wasn’t stupid.  He knew not all druids were sorcerers, just like not all sorcerers were druids.  This girl had yet to try and harm either him or Merlin while in her un-cursed form, so it was unlikely she had magic of her own that had done this.  Which meant someone had done it to her.  “I’m just saying, there’s probably not anything you can do.  The curse is magic.  You probably need magic to stop it, and good luck finding a sorcerer with enough heart left in them to be willing to help.”

 

Merlin just glared at him.  _Right.  Probably not the best time to be sounding pessimistic._   Really, he was simply trying to be _realistic_.  And the reality was this was a lost cause.  The sooner Merlin realized that, the better off he’d be.

 

“She’s not a thing,” Merlin said suddenly.

 

“What?”

 

“Last night, you called her a thing.  Freya’s a person, not a thing.”

 

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t –”

 

“She was defending herself.  She was being attacked, and she defended herself.  Her attacker died, so someone cursed her for it.  The magic isn’t even worst part of the curse, though.  It’s the fear.  Everyone she cared about turned against her for something that wasn’t her fault.  Who can she trust now?  Who will ever think of her as anything but a monster?”

 

There was the air of something deeper in Merlin’s words, but Arthur wasn’t sure what it could be.  The obvious message was enough to be dealing with anyway.

 

“If there were a way around this, Merlin, you know I’d take it.  I _am_ _trying_ to take it.”

 

Merlin didn’t answer, simply slammed his book shut again in frustration and grabbed a new one.

 

Okay, maybe the subtext did matter.  “Merlin… why exactly is this girl so important to you?”

 

“You wouldn’t understand.”

 

“Try me.”

 

He paused in his search.  “Because. We’re the same.”  _You have a curse that turns you into a man-eating beast you’re not telling me about?_   “And together… we’re not alone.”

 

“You’re not alone, Merlin.  You have Gaius, and Gwen, and Morgana, and… and me.”

 

“And you’re surrounded by an entire kingdom who would die for you.  But how many of them know _Arthur?_   Wouldn’t you do anything you could to save the ones who did?”

 

Arthur left that unanswered, because he knew the answer was yes.  But he couldn’t help but feel hurt at the same time, because he considered Merlin one of those few who treated him like a person, not as a royal.  That Merlin apparently didn’t feel the same was a blow.  He did _try_ not to treat Merlin like a servant –for heaven’s sake, he was _breaking the law_ for him at this very moment– but apparently it wasn’t enough.

 

“Merlin… were you really going to leave?”  Arthur found he didn’t like what the silence implied.  “Will you still go… if you find a way to break the curse?”

 

Merlin just smiled sadly.  “If I find a way to break the curse, I won’t need to.” 

* * *

The closer midnight came, the more Arthur fretted.  Not about the girl being found –it wasn’t like people were going to choose today to start going into the antechamber when no one had used it since Merlin was hired –but about Merlin himself.

 

Arthur had finally left after an hour of helping Merlin search proved as fruitless as Merlin’s entire night past.  He might have stayed longer, but he couldn’t bring himself to watch the servant as he slowly fell apart.  He did suggest he go keep the girl company while he continued the search, as she might have some insight about how to break her own curse.

 

Arthur doubted it, but they deserved to spend their last day together, even if it was spent in sorrow.

 

He himself had avoided going back to his chambers since then.  Instead he “assisted in the search” for the girl –which consisted of him leading a patrol into the woods because “she might have injured herself while escaping and was now waiting for her accomplice to fetch her supplies” –and when he got frustrated with that, he led the knights in a rigorous training session, suffered through an evening meal with Morgana –because at least it took his mind off things –and calculated just how many peppers Peter Piper picked if he picked a peck of pickled peppers –the answer to which was blindingly simple and he didn’t know why this was such a popular question, but he was growing desperate.

 

Something was bothering him about this whole matter, and he didn’t know what it was.  Or perhaps he did, but no part of him wanted to acknowledge it.

 

The hour before midnight came and went, but Arthur didn’t go down to the cells nor to his room to check that Merlin had kept his word.  He didn’t dare, because there was a large part of him that feared he wouldn’t.  The curse meant the girl had to be from hurting people, and the only sure way to do that was to kill her.  Arthur felt terrible, but it was the way it had to be.  It was just one more mark against magic on an ever-growing list.

 

But Merlin didn’t seem like he was going to accept things that easily.  He had been fighting against the way things were from the moment he stepped into Camelot and called the prince an ass.  Then the only life at risk had been his own.  Now it was someone he cared about, and Arthur shuddered to think what he might do.

 

Finally he couldn’t put if off any longer.  Midnight was close at hand, and if he could do nothing else for him, Arthur was going to make damn sure Merlin did _not_ get into that cage again.

 

_Please, let them be there.  Just let them show up and I’ll deal with the consequences when the consequences come._

And oh, how he dreaded when the consequences would come.

 

He didn’t breathe easy until the soft whisper of voices reached his ears.  They were there.  By some miracle, they had decided not to run away.

 

The miracle didn’t extend as far as Arthur wished, though.  The girl was in the cell as ordered, but Merlin was right there with her, clutching her hand defiantly.

 

“Merlin, out.”

 

“She’s better now, Arthur.  I swear.  I found the way to break the curse.”  There was something in Merlin’s eyes that made Arthur doubt that.

 

“If that’s the case, you’re more than welcome to join her after midnight.  But if not…” _I’m not letting you die, you idiot.  I don’t care if you hate me for it_.  Quietly he said, “Don’t make me force you.”  _Please_.

 

Merlin must have heard the desperation Arthur had thought he had well-hidden in his tone, because after a moment he gave a reluctant nod.  Turning to the girl, he murmured just loud enough for Arthur to make out, “It’s going to be fine, you hear me?  He said it would be; he promised you wouldn’t change anymore.”

 

The girl graced him with a tiny smile.  As Merlin moved away Arthur could see she was shaking like a leaf.  He didn’t blame her.  It was one thing to be told the curse was gone; it was quite another to believe it with no proof.

 

Arthur shut and locked the cell door.  Merlin immediately reached a hand through the bars to reconnect with her, shooting a glare at Arthur as if to dare him to make him let go.  Arthur let it pass.  If this time was anything like last time, there would be plenty of time to yank Merlin back once she started to change.

 

Closer… closer…

 

“What was it?” Arthur blurted out, desperate to cut the growing tension.  “The answer.  How did you break the curse?”

 

“I didn’t,” Merlin answered, grinning shakily but tenderly.  “Freya did.  She didn’t kill anyone last night.  She was cursed to kill forever.  And _you_ _didn’t_.”

 

“How is that possible?  She was stuck in that cage.  Don’t tell me Halig let her out for a nightly hunting trip.”  _He had better not have, or he’ll be down here next._

 

“He never had me for a whole night,” the girl corrected softly.  “They gave me up in the morning, and Halig arrived in Camelot at nightfall.  Merlin let me free before I changed.”

 

 _“They gave me up.”_   _“You can’t always trust people.”_   Arthur had been told the druids had handed her over to Halig, but part of him since he’d met the girl had been hoping it was a lie.  How could her own people give her up like that?  _You were willing to send her to the chopping block, too.  You’re no better than they are._

 

The bell began to toll.  Merlin’s grip tightened even as Arthur prepared to fall back.  The druid girl, too, tried half-heartedly to pull away, to give Merlin one final modicum of protection.

 

“Merlin, please, you have to let go.”

 

“Do you trust me?” She nodded without hesitation.  “Well, I trust him.  Nothing is going to happen.  I promise.”

 

Tears were falling down both their faces, and if Arthur weren’t having his own personal anxiety attack, he might have allowed a fair few of his own to escape.  None of them appeared to be breathing.

 

Nothing happened.

 

“Freya, do you feel anything?”  Merlin’s voice was thick with hope.  She shook her head, still clearly too terrified for words.  “It hasn’t happened.  It’s not _going_ to happen.  Freya… _you’re free._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this so that if you want a happy ending, you can stop at this chapter. If you're like me and like your endings to be a bit more painful, you can continue on.
> 
> Also, if you really want to know, because Arthur doesn't get to find out in the fic, Kilgharrah told them what to do. Because Merlin never went and asked in the show. Probably because the dragon would see her as a distraction and refuse to tell him.


	4. Chapter 4

Merlin immediately turned to Arthur and reached for the keys. Arthur had stopped feeling the sharp edges digging into his hand a while ago. He thought he might have seen specks of blood as they were torn from his grip. He finally came back to his senses as Merlin struggled to get his shaking hands to fit key to lock.

The thought that had been tapping in the back of his mind was starting to get tired of being ignored.

"Merlin, wait." Merlin didn't wait.

"She's better," he insisted, wrapping her protectively in his arms. "You said couldn't let her go because you couldn't put people in danger. Freya's not a danger anymore, are you?" It wasn't so much a question as a request for affirmation.

"She's still an outlaw. She was brought here by a bounty hunter, Merlin. Not because she had a curse, but because she's a druid." Arthur turned ashamedly to the girl, who still looked stunned she had remained human. "I'm sorry. I believe me, I don't think that alone should be a crime. But the fact is… it is."

_"Will you still go if you find a way to break the curse?" "If I find a way to break the curse, I won't need to."_

There it was, the thing that had been bothering him most all day. The thing that had stopped him from going near either Merlin or the girl after their initial encounters. Breaking the curse didn't matter. The druid still couldn't stay. And if she couldn't stay, Merlin wouldn't stay.

Arthur would never, ever say it out loud, but he wanted Merlin to stay.

"But that's mad! Freya hasn't done anything! Not anything the curse didn't make her do, and _she_ _doesn't have a curse anymore!_ "

Arthur avoided their eyes. This was going to be hard, though he was sure much more for him than them. He could hear the voices of everyone he cared about telling him how proud they were of what he was about to do, or else how cowardly he being. But the loudest was his servant, telling him how he didn't feel alone.

Quietly he said, "Merlin… I told you if there were a way, I'd take it. I told you I'd give you a chance to save her." Arthur had to fight to keep his face and voice as impassive as possible. "As long as Freya is in Camelot, she's not safe. So this is me, keeping my word. Save her."

He turned to go. Any longer and he would be at high risk for doing something very unprincely –even more than letting a high-security prisoner go free with the help of his servant who broke her out in the first place. It would be fine. Merlin knew plenty of ways to sneak out of Camelot without his help.

But Arthur couldn't leave without granting one last favour. "Merlin? I'll understand if you don't come back."

* * *

Arthur went back to his room. He wasn't running away. He wasn't. He was giving himself plausible deniability. He never saw them run, therefore, he didn't know it was happening. When morning came, he would rant and rave about his useless manservant vanishing in the middle of the night, and his father would eventually grow tired of searching for one mere druid girl, and Arthur would hire a new servant and life would go on.

It would. Life had a tendency to do that with little to no regard for the input of its occupants.

He couldn't help but watch out his window, though, just in time to see a figure running across the courtyard. Arthur sighed. That would be Merlin, gone to fetch supplies, maybe to say farewell to Gaius. Or maybe not. Gaius would tell him not to go.

A quiet knock on the antechamber door startled him. Arthur bounded –in a very dignified, princely manner– across the room to wrench open the door. "Mer– oh, it's you."

Freya stood uncertainly on the threshold, wringing her hands, eyes pointed at the floor. "Ehm… hello?"

"If you're here to tell me you're ditching Merlin and leaving on your own, you can forget it." _Please,_ _ **please**_ _tell me that's what you've come to say._

"I- I'm not," she admitted. "I don't want to. I know, it's selfish of me, but then I've always been selfish. The very fact that I'm still standing here is a testament to that."

"It's not selfish to not want to die," Arthur said softly.

"Even when by living you hurt the people you care about?"

"Well, you're not going to do that now…" Something clicked in his mind. "Wait a second. I know why you're here. You want me to _tell_ you to leave without Merlin. So that way the blame can be on me and he can keep on loving you. I have news for you: it doesn't matter. The only difference is that instead of hating me, he'd hate himself. Because if he didn't have a life here you thought wasn't worth leaving to be with you for, you wouldn't have gone on your own. And either way he'll spend the rest of his life wondering where you are and if you're still alive and well. Either way, he'll be miserable, and so will you. The only way he won't be is if he goes with you now." _Then the only one who has to suffer with being miserable is me._

Her cheeks pinked, but Freya shook her head. "That… that wasn't it either. I won't deny I considered it, but… I just wanted to ask a favour. I know I have no right to, but… it's not really for me?"

"What, then?"

"Don't tell anyone Merlin ran away. Let them think he had to go for an emergency. That he'll be back soon. Because he will, at least I hope. Halig can't stay here forever, and he's the only one who knows what I look like, and I know Merlin would really like to return here, whatever he says, and he's only leaving because of me, and I can't do that to him, making him leave everything he cares about forever." She paused for breath. "He will come back. As soon as Halig leaves. It'll be safer then, for both of us."

Arthur was silent for a long moment. He hadn't expected that. He had to admit he'd been sure once they left Merlin would be gone for good. He'd made his peace with it, even –okay, maybe that was a lie, but just how much was he supposed to miss a useless servant who did nothing but insult him and never did as he was told and stood loyally by him no matter what and supported him in everything except when he was wrong and then had no compunctions about setting him straight?

"As far as anyone here is concerned, Merlin's mother took ill, and he's gone to tend her."

"Thank you, your highness. Also, I think… Merlin's too… _scared_ to say good-bye, and he's going to regret it, but I'll do it on his behalf. Farewell, and thank you. Thank you for seeing beyond the monster."

She curtseyed, then turned and slipped away.

As Arthur saw it, he had two choices: he could stay in his chambers and wallow, or he could stop feeling sorry for himself and do something. Whatever that something might be.

With a groan of frustration, Arthur followed the girl down through the servant's stairway. Freya was already gone from sight, a lifetime of hiding –first as a druid, then as a cursed fugitive– giving her plenty of experience in silent flight. No one else was about as it was now well after midnight. Arthur didn't know what passage the two would take, but he did at least know where they would end up.

Not that he knew what he was doing going after them. He was supposed to be giving himself deniability, not aiding and abetting. Of course, he'd already done that just by telling them to leave, hadn't he? What did it matter now if he assisted in their escape?

It was just to make sure they got out safely. So that Merlin wouldn't be caught and the whole thing tied back to Arthur.

That was all. Nothing more.

He caught up with them as they snuck out of the castle and made their way into the lower town. Merlin had procured a cloak for Freya to give her more screening, and carried a bulging pack on his own back. Arthur followed from a distance as Merlin tugged her along by the hand. They kept to the shadows, freezing at every hint of sound, even if it was just a stray cat.

Finally they reached the castle gates. Arthur didn't see why they would go this way. Everyone knew the gates were closed at this time of night, and though they were more there to watch for attacking armies and thieves than fugitive girls, there were still guards milling about at random intervals along the wall, both up in the battlements and on the ground. Just because Arthur didn't actually see any of these guards meant nothing.

Instead of approaching the gates head on like an idiot, though, Merlin swerved to the right, following the wall around the city. Not far from the gate was a grating, meant to drain water in case of flooding rain. It was small, but both of them were lean enough they would be easily able to crawl through. That was, if they could get the bars off.

The pack Merlin had was large, but it didn't look like it could hold a grappling hook. Besides, any clanging of that sort would be sure to attract the guards' attention. Arthur would have to intervene, tell them to use a different gate. This one was closest to the woods, yes, but they would have to give up cover outside the walls for cover inside them.

Before he could step forward, though, the grating seemed to collapse all on its own. _Magic. The girl_ _ **does**_ _have magic._ He known it was a possibility, but it was another thing to see it in practice. But in all that time, even when she was being sent to her death, she hadn't raised a finger to defend herself with it.

_"She was being attacked, and she defended herself. Her attacker died, so someone cursed her for it."_

Not everyone could learn from their mistakes like that. Certainly no sorcerer Arthur had ever met. But then, her punishment had been more severe than most.

Freya went first, Merlin close behind. Arthur snuck up to the hole in the wall, debating following then debating what the point of that would be. They were gone, free. At this point Arthur was just an afterthought, no more than a useless tail, if he'd ever been of use before.

So he hovered there for a moment longer, then his remaining dignity finally got the better of him and he made his way back to the castle.

He was too lost in his own thoughts to hear the shout from atop the wall.

* * *

Arthur expected to oversleep the next day. He didn't expect that when he finally awoke, there would be someone sitting at his table.

" _Merlin_? What are you doing here?" _You came back. You weren't supposed to come back._

Merlin didn't respond, and when Arthur shook off the last haze of sleep, he saw why. Merlin sat in the same clothes from last night, only now they were splattered with blood. He was drenched from head to toe, but it did little mask the tears that slid unchecked down his cheeks.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked more hesitantly now, the pit of his stomach filling with dread. "What happened?"

"She's gone," he answered, voice hollow. "I… I messed up. There was still one guard, and I couldn't… they shot her. She didn't have a chance."

_Oh, Merlin. I wanted you to stay, but not like this._

Arthur didn't know what to do. Comfort was not his strong suit. He and Merlin weren't the hugging sort –well, Merlin was –but Arthur didn't think their usual act would do in the face of Merlin's obvious grief. Maybe if it had been some smaller offence, but this… Arthur didn't think this was an instance where the thought would count.

Arthur sat down at the table beside him and laid a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Merlin. Truly I am."

They stayed like that until Arthur's father came to find him for a council meeting.

Merlin stayed like that for a long time after.


End file.
